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Thursday, 16 October 2008

1 week left!

I can't believe I'm meeting Katie in a week! I'm so excited about it!!

She hasn't turned... so we're going ahead w/ the c/s. I'm up and down about it, but have decided to refocus my mind and think of it as "Katie's birth" rather than "my c/s" It does help me a little to think of it in the way of my daughter's birth instead of a surgery. Surgery sounds so cold and her birth sounds so wonderful! I really can't wait to meet her. To hold her in my arms and nurse her. To marvel over how tiny she is yet so big to have fit inside of me. To look into her beautiful innocent, yet so wise eyes. (Does anyone else think babies look so wise sometimes?? I remember Mom saying that to me at one time & I thought she was nuts, but then when I started having babies I noticed what she meant) I just can't wait to meet her.

We'll be heading in at 6 am and by this time next week she'll be born!! Probably not in my arms yet, but definitely in Matts.

I forgot to post these last week... my friend took some pregnancy shots of me and so I thought I'd share.

Monday, 13 October 2008

"FUN" time shopping.

x-posted from GCM
Yesterday we went shopping... and while on the way there i noticed my normal contrax started picking up and increasing in intensity. We got to the store and were walking around and they were 3-4 mins apart and so painful I couldn't walk through them and I actually had tears in my eyes through some of them. We were in town (20 miles from where our home is) so Matt kept asking if we should go in... I kept saying no. He went into the next store alone and my contrax continued, but weren't quite as intense when I was sitting (which is opposite of what they usually do. ) We got home and I laid down and sure enough... they petered out. I'm still having them. More like 15 minutes apart and they are still slightly uncomfortable, but nothing like they were in the store.

I have to say I was hoping that was it, but didn't want to cry 'wolf' again. I'm not sure if I'm feeling relieved or disappointed that they petered out. I do have to say this is not much fun... and I'm sorry for any other Mamas who have to go through this for weeks too.

Saturday, 11 October 2008

Almost 38 weeks!

WOW! I can't believe it. Only 2 weeks til my EDD... and only 11 days (not counting today) til my C/S. I just can't believe I'm going to be holding little Katie soon!!

About the c/s... I'm coming to terms w/ it and am now researching and trying to come up w/ the best possible c/s that I can have. I'm still praying she moves, but after having tried things and talked w/ accupuncturists and chiropactors it's just not looking that hopeful. So I'm trying to look on the bright side of things. So many women with bicornuate uteruses cannot even get pregnant. And if they can, they can't carry to term. And here I am... only having had 2 miscarriages & I was able to carry all 5 of my children to term. What a blessing when in reality I could have had a really hard time even having 1 child.

I'm still contracting daily. I don't bother timing them anymore. They increase in intensity by evening & often I have been breathing deeply and concentrating through them. And I'm not a wuss. LOL! I've done pitocin induced labors w/ no pain meds before, so I really can handle contrax... They are just that intense. However, after I lay down they start to dwindle in time and intensity. According to the midwife this is because the pressure is taken off of my "area" when I lay down and the contrax let up... when there is more pressure on it (especially when sitting) the contrax pick up and are worse. Not much fun for me, but I can do it, right?!

We were all set for me to do a tubal ligation during the c/s, but the more people I talk to and more research I do on it it's making me nervous. Most report heavier periods. I have heavy periods to begin with (On days 2-3 I fill a pad w/in 1-2 hrs during the day. Thankfully it isn't as heavy at night) Sooo I'm not sure I want to risk having heavier periods... which would mean that Matt would have to get a vasectomy, something he was excited to be able to avoid when we discovered I'd need a c/s. LOL!

I'm getting more and more excited to meet Katie... It's amazing how much you can love a baby you've never met.

Wednesday, 08 October 2008

Still Reeling

I'm such a mix of emotions about the unexpected turn this pending birth has taken. I realize that a c/s is not a big deal to some and some people even prefer it, but I don't. I hated my c/s/ I had the worst PPD that I've ever had after my c/s. I thank the Lord I was still able to bond well with my son as I know that a lot of women have trouble bonding after a c/s.

I've explored options: chiropractor (they didn't sound hopeful when we called), accupuncturist, homeopathic remedies, positions for me to be in, etc. The only ones I may try is the accupuncturist and homeopathic remedies. But I also need to be realistic. It's not like I have a regular uterus that has never had a c/s before... I have a bicornuate that now has a scar. And due to her size and the bicornuate, getting her to move the right way would really take a miracle. God isn't beyond miracles tho... See how torn I am?

The idea of a c/s is more helpful for a few reasons. #1~ I'm planning to get a tubal ligation if I get a c/s, so that would be take care of. #2 ~ It's scheduled. We have the date, we know that my Mom will definitely be available. Matt can get that day off of work (tho he's talking only taking 1/2 day! LOL!)

But that's it... and they aren't the greatest reasons, but I'm looking for pros in all of this. I'm angry and think it's not fair. How come I can't get what I want? How come this happened? why didn't she get into position the right way? I really want to throw a tantrum like my 2 y/o!

Tuesday, 07 October 2008

Labor & C/S

So... I'll give you the short story. My body is attempting to go into labor & have Katie. However, she is malpositioned and cannot get her head down to press into my cervix. This is most likely due to my bicornuate uterus & her size. In pictures... this is my uterus:

And the way Katie is positioned is the one on the bottom right.

Due to my bicornuate she most likely will be unable to scoot around and get her head down into my pelvis because the septum is in the way.

I'm making this post factual... not emotional because it's easier for me to deal w/ it this way. So my c/s is scheduled for the 23rd of Oct & barring a miracle that's just how it will be.